Jul 30, 2021

Posted by in BUDDHISM IN OTHER LANGUAGES, SONG NGỮ ANH VIỆT | 14 Comments

Letter from Sweden: A NEW VERSION OF MYSELF TODAY (TÔI CỦA NGÀY HÔM NAY)

 

Preface: Venessa, a learner from Sweden, has written a story of herself, recording what she has been experiencing. Leaving all the past behind, she is now treasuring the present, especially after approaching Pure Mind Dharma of Song Nguyen Tantra House. I hereby gladly introduce to you her sharing..

My name is Venessa and I am new to Buddhism. Today, I would like to share a bit about my life and how I came to Buddhism. My English is not that good because I have learned English for only some years. So please pardon me if I may have some grammatical and spell issues.

My name is Venessa

I was born in Sweden, and both of my parents are from Finland. I was born in a very dysfunctional family where I was abused and behaved very badly, which also affected me throughout my childhood. I was also a victim of being bullied in school. It used to be so hard for me to learn anything.

When I was 14 years old, I started to smoke cigarettes and when I was 16 years old, I started to drink alcohol. My maturity came so late because my mother never allowed me to be a child. And I have been living in many different foster families. I changed schools plenty of times, which affected me as well. It felt like marrying someone when I started to drink alcohol. I got attached to it. I was living in self-pity and under criticism of others. There seemed to be impossible for me to find any solutions to my life’s issues. At the age of 24, I even started using heavier drugs. My life became totally unmanageable. There were several times I tried to take my own life, but I did not manage to succeed. However, today I am so thankful and released that I am still alive.

today I am so thankful and released that I am still alive

Throughout my life, I keep changing the places to live, I kept running away between different cities. Even though, I did not figure out why the problems kept following me wherever I was. I first knew Buddhism when I was 32 years old, but it was not so long until I came back to Christian. At that time, I started to get sober. I was determined to change my life, so I started to learn English. Because I grew up in loneliness, I kept seeking different religions to find an anchor or simply mental support. Unfortunately, most religions that I have experienced gave me more pressure and took away my sobriety. I haven’t got a real family since I was born, so I just wanted to feel that I belong to something or feel like I am in some family. I realized that blood is not always thicker than water.

Until the last time when I drank alcohol, I suddenly realized that there is only one handle on the door and that handle is on the inside of the door. The helper was patiently waiting outside and my inner strength power was the decisive element at that moment. I must be the one who is responsible to take the one simple step toward the door and open it. I must ask for help. That was exactly what I did. I was so done with my old life and I was so ready to do anything to get sober and have a better life. So I did it!

After making that step, I gradually learned new things, such as English, crochet, mathematic, etc. I started to have good dreams where I was taught something useful which I was not able to do when I was awake. It was very interesting that I learned something in my dream such as driving a car, which even made it easier for me in reality when I did the real test. I felt like a new door always waiting for me to open in the dream, so I should really do it in reality. Afterward, I started to open another door, that was Buddhism through the Pure Mind Yoga course, which gives me many other opening doors in my life. Throughout the course that I have learned from Cao Dieu Mat Tu thanks to the approval of Guru Thinley Nguyen Thanh, I came to know about Buddhist teachings and practices, such as Bodhicitta and Meditation on Bodhicitta practice. And it has been helping me so much in my life. I feel happier, more calm, more balanced, more harmony and so much more.

I am so grateful that Guru Thinley Nguyen Thanh has allowed us to take part in the course and that he gave beneficial teachings and practice methods for us to make a rehearsal. I am thankful for all help and teaching Cao Dieu Mat Tu have giving me and still is giving me. And this is how I call for a real family who is helping each other in the right way and humble way.

Guru Thinley Nguyen Thanh has allowed us to take part in the course and that he gave beneficial teachings and practice methods for us to make a rehearsal

Nowadays I do not feel so lonely anymore. I become a better version of myself, I become more and more positive every day, full of hope for a better life in the long term. I know to satisfy and appreciate what I have gotten, which are my boyfriend, my best friends, and Buddhist lessons that help me to grow good deeds. I got a whole new family.

Everything is so beautiful if I just dare to have the courage to see it with my own eyes what is actually in front of my eyes already and not being greedy for something what is only in fantasy.

Yesterday is forever gone, I cannot turn the time back and it is so impossible to run against the sun. So why do I fight back? It is very burdensome and unnecessary. Tomorrow is not here yet so why should I have such worries about what is not even necessary. Today and now I know that I am alive, and can do things I need or want to do. That’s what I have learned and appreciated from the Buddha’s teaching that said “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate your mind in the present”. About my childhood, I have learned to forgive. Forgiveness is the inner freedom for me. I prefer to be thankful that I can have more understanding for other peoples who is suffering and thankfulness is the key to inner happiness. I have learned the principle of accepting is the key to inner peace.

 

So what should I do? I should let go of the past with painful memories, I need to bend my neck and be humble. I have learned to be more thankful for what I have. I have even started to give away and clean out a lot of stuff in my home. I want to live a better life and be a better human being. I want to be more humble to others and not judging. Practicing Bodhicitta through meditation on Bodhicitta has helped me to be more concentrated and reminded me to do more meaningful things and keep a healthy routine such as morning meditation, or practice Meditation on Bodhicitta through 16 daily activities. But I have to admit that sometimes I can be a bit lazy.

Guru and cats

I understand that willingness is very important. What I wanted was not enough. I also need to go into action. I will keep in mind to practice more frequently. I have seen our Guru with cats many times in the pictures, I have cats and really love cats. But I love all animals but cats are something special.

I love all animals but cats are something special

Well this was my story and experience. I humbly thank Guru for letting me share it. I am looking forward to learning more in the future.

 I sincerely pray for Guru’s health and longevity for the benefit of all sentient beings.

Om mani padme hum.

Venessa from Sweden.


Vietnamese version: Thư Thụy Điển: TÔI CỦA NGÀY HÔM NAY – Venessa

 


Related articles : THE ARTICLES ABOUT SUCCESS OF LEARNERS IN TANTRA HOUSE MAT GIA SONG NGUYEN

1,On the occasion of Guru Rinpoche Day (May 10th lunar calendar; Buddhist calendar 2565- 2021). Some thoughts by Assistant Professor Vikas Singh – Tantra Dharma Bodhisita: The fire of Dharma in the midst of the winter of Samsara. – Tantra Dharma Bodhisita

2, Letter from Nigeria: Some thoughts by Professor Chukwugozie Maduka (Tantra Dharma Sunyata): RIGHT VIEW AND THE SOURCE OF THE BLESSING. (cảm nghĩ của giáo sư tiến sĩ Chukwugozie Maduka (Tantra Dharma Sunyata): chánh kiến và nguồn ơn phước.) – Tantra Dharma Sunyata

3, FAR FROM EYE, BUT NOT FAR FROM HEART (Xa mặt nhưng không cách lòng) – Tantra Sutradaka

4, Letter from the USA: WHERE’S THE FORTUNE FROM? ( May mắn đến từ đâu?) – Tantra Tanshami (Aki Thunderpaw)

5, Letter from the USA: THE FIRST ONLINE DHARMA MEETING IN SONG NGUYEN TANTRA HOUSE U.S CENTER. ( Thư từ nước Mỹ: BUỔI VÂN TẬP TRỰC TUYẾN ĐẦU TIÊN Ở MẬT GIA MỸ QUỐC.) – Tantra Mahacitta (Robert Clayton Jr.)

6, ESCAPE THE DANGER BY A HAIR’S BREADTH (THOÁT HIỂM TRONG ĐƯỜNG TƠ KẼ TÓC) – Cao Diệu Diệu Hằng

7, Letter from Sweden: A NEW VERSION OF MYSELF TODAY (TÔI CỦA NGÀY HÔM NAY) – Venessa

8, Letter from USA: The bridge connecting us together after many lives in this Samsara. – Tantra Mahacitta (Robert Clayton Jr.)

9, Letter from American: I AM TODAY IS NOT I AM YESTERDAY! ( TÔI HÔM NAY KHÁC HÔM QUA) – Tantra Mahacitta

10, Letter from Sweden: THE UNTOLD STORY, THE SOUND OF SINGING OVERWHELMING THE ATTACK ( Thư Thuỵ Điển: Chuyện bây giờ mới kể, Tiếng hát át tiếng bom) – Cao Diệu Mật Từ

11, Letter from the USA: LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL (Ánh sáng cuối đường hầm)- Robert Clayton Jr

12, Letter from Nigeria: Some thoughts by Professor Chukwugozie Maduka – BETTER LATE THAN NEVER. (Muộn còn hơn không). – Professor Chukwugozie Maduka

13, THE PROBLEM IS NOT HOW LATE YOU GET MARRIED, BUT HOW LATE YOU MEET A TRUE GURU ( Lập gia đình muộn không sao! Hạnh ngộ muộn màng với Đạo Sư mới là một thiệt thòi lớn!) – Tantra Upatissa

14, Letter from the USA: THREE ARTICLES, ONE FATE (Ba bài viết, một số phận) – Tantra Amishuta

15, Letter from Thai Nguyen: IS IT REALITY OR JUST A DREAM? (Thư Thái Nguyên: THỰC HAY MƠ?) – Mat Thai Xuyen

16, I AM GOING TO HAVE A HOUSE!- Cao Dieu Giac Dang

17, Letter from Korea: THE WINTER’S WARMTH ( Thư Hàn Quốc: HƠI ẤM MÙA ĐÔNG) – Cao Dieu Hong Tuyen

18, LETTER FROM NEWZEALAND: IMPOSSIBLE TO REASON AND DISCUSS, BOAT WITHOUT A HARBOR, PREDESTINED DESTINY ( Thư New Zealand: NGHĨ KHÔNG RA, BÀN KHÔNG ĐẾN, BẾN KHÔNG THUYỀN, DUYÊN TIỀN KIẾP) – Cao Dieu Mat Thuy

19, Letter from India: NEW YEAR, THINKING ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER OF MY LIFE WITH PURE MIND YOGA (Năm mới, ngẫm về cuộc đời mới với Yoga Thanh Trí) – Tantra SutraDaka

20, THE HUMBLE WORDS FROM A PROFESSOR IN HISTORY (Lời khiêm cung của một Giáo sư tiến sĩ Lịch sử học) – Pro. Laxman Yadaorao Aucharmal

  1. Nguyên Thành
    Nguyên Thành says:

    I am surprised to know that you have experienced such a painful childhood, even in your adulthood. However, it is your courage that makes the new Venessa today! There are many people who used to be stuck in alcohol and drugs became crimes. On the contrary, fate has smiles upon you at last which was described in this article. I am so glad for you, and I totally agree with your thoughts, and your opinion after learning Pure Mind Yoga. On this occasion, I would like to bestow you a Dharma name, which is Tantra Nashita. May you practice Pure Mind Yoga diligently every day. Om mani padme hum.

    • Venessa (Sweden) says:

      Thank you so much dear Guru. I really appreciate my Dharma name. So beautiful. What does it mean? I am so happy.
      Yes I am so thankful for the life I have today.
      May you always be blessed for your teaching.
      Om mani padme hum.

  2. Cao Diệu Mật Thủy says:

    Dear Vanessa,
    Thank you for sharing your story. The new Vanessa today is incredible as she’s just got a new Dharma name bestowed by our respected Guru. Congratulation on your new name – Tantra Nashita, which closes your pass and opens a new journey of your life.
    Your story inspires us to overcome ourselves. Fortunately, it’s much easier now thanks to our Guru’s guidance as well as his Six marvellous spiritual methods invented by him. We are not alone in that battle anymore. We all now have Guru, Dharma friends, the whole family always by our side. The only thing we need to bear in our mind is to obey Guru’s teachings and practice Dharma regularly by reading and commenting on chanhtuduy.com.
    Thank you Guru for always accompanying us on this path to Liberation.
    May Guru have good health and longevity for the benefit of all sentient beings.
    May the Covid-19 pandemic will come to an end soon.
    Om mani padme hum!

    • Tantra Nashita (Sweden) says:

      Thank you so much for encouraging me. It is a pleasure to know you.

      May all peoples who is suffering from different illness get better.

      Om mani padme hum.

  3. Mật Phước says:

    Dear Guru,
    I have read this article.
    Thank you so much Tantra Venessa for your story.
    I am delighted to know that, you have found your new version of yourself today, that happen after you approached the Pure Mind Dharma of Song Nguyen Tantra House.
    May Guru have good health and longevity for the sake of all sentient beings.
    May the covid 19 pandemic be soon over.
    May all sentient beings achieve the happiness of Buddha’s nature.
    Om Mani Padme Hum.

  4. Tantra Amishuta says:

    Dear Vanessa from Sweden,
    Thank you for sharing your vulnerable story. I am pleased to see you have found Guru and a pure way to practice dharma, pure mind yoga and learn the ways of Buddha. May you be well and continue to do well on your path to enlightenment. Om Mani Pandme hum

    Dear holy Guru,
    Thank you kindly and dearly for sharing miss Vanessa’s story. I do not want to take from her story by sharing mine I am pleased she is here and pleased you shared her story with the rest of us. I love to see letters from learners who are learning that bodhichita and merit bring us better lives and help us to continue to liberation and freedom from suffering. (please forgive me for my spelling) I strive to do a little better each day and work harder each moment to live a dharma life and gain merit for the sake of all sentient beings. I hope to one day be knowledgeable enough to share buddha’s teachings with others and be secure enough in those teachings to know I”m not sharing in wrong view. I thank you for every letter and article you share and each lesson they contain. Thank you for being a compassionate Guru who dedicates so much time to teaching us the lessons of pure mind yoga. May you live long and well for the sake of all sentient beings and may all beings be fortunate enough to find a real guru a good guru who teaches them the path to liberation. May all suffering soon end and may enlightenment be obtained by all sentient beings. Om mani pandme hum

    • Nguyên Thành
      Nguyên Thành says:

      Thank you for your comment! You don’t need to wait until you are knowledgeable enough to share the Dharma teachings with others, as you may fall into the trap of impermanence and believing in your own thought before getting enlightenment. You can share any articles of your favorite on chanhtuduy.com with your acquaintances without worries. All the articles are written in the light of the Buddha’s teachings, it can’t be wrong.

  5. Tantra Mashita (euro) says:

    Dear compassionate Guru,

    Thank you so much for sharing this letter with us, I really admired it and enjoyed reading it as well, certainly I know Venssa because she was a classmate during the dharma course which I’ve attended with Miss. Ciao diêu “Qyunh le”, but I have to say that when I saw Venssa at the first time I haven’t ever imagined that she faced all of these suffering and she has lived a bad childhood same like me, now I’m happy that she found her way and she has been starting to be on the path, thank you so much again dear holy Guru,

    I bow my head down to you
    I devote myself to you
    I express my gratitude to you

    May you have a good health and live long for the benefit of all sentient beings
    May all the sentient beings attain the happiness of Buddha’s nature
    May the pandemic caused by the corona virus soon end
    Om mani padame hum

    • Nguyên Thành
      Nguyên Thành says:

      Good! I like your comments!

    • Tantra Nashita (Sweden) says:

      I am happy you found this way as well. Hope we can connect to each other some how and learn from each other.

      Om mani padme hum.

  6. Dr C H Lakshminarayan says:

    I bow down at the feet of Guruji.
    Dear bodhi friend Vanessa,
    I am highly delighted to read your new version from past version! Your past experiences and life itself is Buddha who taught you lessons of Buddha’s teachings and reformed you to the present version of Buddha’s Nature and mainly of Bhdicitta. And Guruji is the boatsman who guides the boat of Dharma to the other shore of Nirvana from the present shore of binding Samsara and across. Your repentance and realisations are Buddha’s teachings in your life. You said now you got a noble new family now. You have to cut off even this family ( bindings) and walk like an elephant singly making its own way in the forest towards the spiritual goal of Nirvana through the guidance of Guruji following the ways and means by his pure mind Dharma practices!
    Your change into new version resembles how Angulimala,a murderer vas changed into a sobre true peaceful monk by Buddha in his life !Guruji is doing the same thing in this era ! Hats off to Guruji.
    Om Mani Padme hum.
    Tantra Nirvadeva.

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