Apr 11, 2017

Posted by in BUDDHISM IN OTHER LANGUAGES | 29 Comments

ROSES and LOVELOCKS (Hoa hồng và ổ khóa)


cau o khoa1

This bridge is called “Lovelock Bridge”

There are many locks hanging around the bridge called “Lovelock Bridge” (see the photo). A woman is sitting  on the bridge. She sells many kinds of locks with various colors and different sizes. The lovers or couples who are in love are advised to buy the lock and write their names  on it and then lock it on the Bridge in order  to have a long lasting love. There are many people who believe in such a funny story. So ridiculous!

In the past, there was a poor painter who loved a singer. Knowing she loved flowers, he sold the house to buy millions of roses. Waking up early, she was surprised with the bright red field filled with roses when she looked out of the window. There was a boy waiting for her with a bouquet of roses. Millions of roses were exchanged with the house of the painter, but he only got the kiss of admiration from the singer in return. In short, she left the painter because of the poverty that could not keep up the warmth of love in the cold night of the fierce livelihood. Today boys and girls love each other coming to “Lovelock Bridge” to hang the lock on it. Is it  the lock that proves their sincerity? Too hard!

 Similarily, there are many couples going to church to pray for their love:

I kneel down and pray before God

Please help me marry the man who I love

cầu duyên

going to a temple to pray for love

…and Buddhists go to temple to beg Buddha and Bodhisattva for blessings. On the evening of April 12, 2016, we dropped by a monumental pagoda on Nguyen Cong Tru Street, where we met a couple who came here to pray. They clasped hands before the statues of holy saint, goddess and guardian . If the temple did not close, they would have asked the monk for fortune telling if their ages could help them be in harmony with each other or their love could be successful. These activities often happen in many other temples.

I appreciate their sincerity because every one who loves always wants to be loved. However, the way they pray show that they want to rely on someone, something for ever lasting love. I really feel sorry for such ignorance. Locks, bridges ….are all inanimate objects, how can they help humans for ever-lasting love? Statues of Buddha, holy monks, Uranus, dharma protectors are also inanimate objects, how can they help people? I recalled there was a singer telling me that she and her boyfriend often went to temple for praying; but they ended up breaking up, the current husband whom she met was a non-believer. It was better for the painter who sold the house to buy millions of roses for his beloved one,  also to keep the impression of “the first beginning moment so that emotion prints in her mind forever”

cau o khoa 2

Buying locks on the “Lovelock Bridge”

Buying locks on the “Lovelock Bridge”, going to temple, going to church for prayers is “sincere” but “useless”, this is called “idealism” in philosophical term and it is called “wrong view” in Buddhism. Studies on the efficacy of gender relations and the lasting love show that the success in love does not rely on which year they were born like the year of the cat or the year of the dragon, but rely on their knowledge on love. There is a famous quotation as follows:

“Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

This sentence shows that true love is built  neither with the happiness of Five Desires (including Desires of wealth, power, and money; Desire of sex or beauty; Desire of fame, influence and praises; Desire of food and drink or eating; Desire of sleep and rest) nor the bliss of consciousness (forms, sounds, scents, tastes, textures). They should have the same goal of life.

Psycho-social psychologists sum up the experience of spousal relationships with the following three harmonies:

1.  The psychological harmony with comfortable communication.

2.  The spiritual harmony with the same moral values (like “Birds of a feather flock together” or “Every Jack has his Jill”)

3.  The physical compatibility.

In Buddhism, in a briefing on the marriage, the Dalai Lama 14 once said: To be happy, the couple must meet the following conditions:

1.  Mutual admiration (bilateral, not unilateral)

2.  Respect each other

3.  Sympathy and mutual understanding

Lotus Flower Estrade in Song Nguyen Tantra House

Although many people being in love belong to the intellectual class, they have the spiritual ignorance. There is a story in which a doctor obeys to a fortune teller who does not even have degree of elementary school; the professor must bow to a psychic. The government officers are commanded by the horoscope mostly telling a lie. That is called superstition, wrong view. Why are these mental dregs (wrong viewpoints, superstitions) still in place? Due to greed, fear, desire!  They are in the fear of losing their lover, so they do what they think and agree to do whatever others tell them in order to keep the love lasts forever. But can they have what they need after such superstition and wrong view? The answer is never.


Love, marriage is the karma. The only way to change the bad karma into  the good karma is to cultivate, practice dharma. You can be the follower of any Buddhist sects. But if you are a Buddhist, you still believe in the sacred statues, which is wrong view. The statue is just a statue, the Buddha statue is only crude element. Its effect is to remind Buddhists of “considering the realization of perfect understanding as their only career” in order to have actions of body, speech and mind according to the right Path for the ultimate liberation, What a few ordinary locks! With a 35,000 dong lock, a 10,000 dong incense, if all loves can become lasting, there would not be any divorce, separation, family violence in the world. But in fact, as per the statistics  the cases of divorce, separation, family violence etc are increasing.

In conclusion, it is good to cherish each other’s sincerity by showing their feeling and heartfelt care. However, be careful with the hypocrite who takes advantage of the way “sincerely worship” to deceive the victim for earning money like the technique of “Defense breaking punch” in martial arts. From this view, it is very important to provide lay Buddhists with right view.

May all sentient beings achieve the happiness of Buddha’s nature.

Om Mani Padme Hum.

Phuoc Thanh village, April 13, 2016

Thinley Nguyen Thanh

Translated by Mat Dieu Hang

Original Vietnamese version: HOA HỒNG VÀ Ổ KHÓA (Bài mở)

Korean version: 장미꽃과 사랑의 자물쇠 (HOA HỒNG VÀ Ổ KHÓA)


  1. Vivek S says:
    Dear respected holy Guru,
    I would like to express my gratitude to you for your interesting writing.
    I know that love is not something that love is not something you can snatch from someone or get by praying to some inanimate objects.These are all utter absurdity.If our karma is good things follow.By practicing dharma we can change our karma
    May the Guru live long for the sake of all beings.
    May the Guru’s teachings flourish all over the world for the benefit of all beings.
    Om Mani Padme Hum.
  2. Kính bạch Thầy!
    Con xin phép Thầy cho con dịch những dòng comment của bạn đọc Vivek S sang tiếng Việt. Nếu con dịch có điều gì sai với quỹ đạo chánh pháp, con kính mong Thầy từ bi khai thị. Con cảm ơn Thầy!
    Sau đây là nội dung cảm niệm của bạn đọc Vivek S:

    “Kính thưa vị Thầy tâm linh tôn quý,
    Con xin bày tỏ lòng biết ơn đến Thầy vì Thầy đã viết một bài pháp hay và lợi lạc. Qua đó, con hiểu rằng tình yêu bền vững không phải nương tựa vào điều gì đó, ai đó hoặc có được bằng sự cầu nguyện với những vật vô tri vô giác . Điều này là vô lý. Nếu nghiệp tốt thì con người có tình yêu đẹp. Chỉ bằng cách thực hành pháp, chúng con mới có thể chuyển nghiệp, để có hạnh phúc lứa đôi.
    Con cầu nguyện Thầy Cô trụ thế lâu dài vì sự lợi lạc của chúng sanh.
    Con cầu nguyện giáo pháp của Thầy lan tỏa khắp muôn nơi vì lợi lạc của hữu tình.
    Om Mani Padme Hum.”

    • Tuelo piet moeng says:
      Dear guru.im in from north west ottosdal.thank you so much for sharing this nice article.may all being be always happy and peaceful
      • Mật Diệu Hằng says:
        Kính bạch Thầy!

        Con xin phép dịch comment của bạn đọc Tuelo piet Moeng sang tiếng Việt như sau:

        Kính bạch Thầy!

        Con ở  Tây Bắc thị trấn Ottosdal.

        Con cảm tạ ơn Thầy đã cho con được đọc bài viết lợi lạc này.

        Cầu nguyện tất cả chúng sanh được hạnh phúc và bình an.

  3. Dear Vivek S,
    I am really delighted with your reading and comment on chanhtuduy.com. Especially, you can learn precious things from the Guru’s discourse. “Rose and Lock” is one of the interesting articles relating to “dharma intergrated into life”, which helps us and all beings apply the Lord Buddha’s teachings into daily life.
    I agree with you that locks, bridges, statues of Buddhas, dharma protectors or some inanimate objects can not help us get the happiness. Only by practicing dharma, we can get the temporary happiness and ultimate bliss because of changing bad karmas into good karmas.
    Luckily, The Guru Thinley Nguyen Thanh provides us with many efficient methods to accumulate merit and wisdom (including reading and writing comment on chanhtuduy.com), which enables our legitimate wish to quickly come true due to the cultivation.
    I hope you read more posts and share with us about your rejoice in what you learn from the Guru’s teachings.
    May your legitimate wishes come true.
    May the Guru live long for the sake of all sentient beings.
    May all sentient beings achieve the happiness of Buddha’s nature.
    Om Mani Padme Hum.

  4. Mật Huệ Pháp says:
    To holy Guru
     Thank you for giving us a meaningful lesson on couple love and family happiness. The Buddha taught that every family members have ever had relations with one another somehow, some ways in previous lives. It is 1000 kalpas to be husband and wife, 500 kalpas to be parents and children and 100 kalpas to be brother and sister. But facts and figures of family life in this modern society indicate that not all relations are good and stable, meaning relations formed in past lives are not all good. HH. Dalai Lama 14th has taught that a long lasting love should be based on :
    1. Mutual admiration
    2. Mutual respect
    3. Mutual kindness
    But it seems not easy for them to learn from this teaching without taking refuge in the Three Jewels. That’s why you taught us that love and marriage are the result of karma which is only changed by practice Dharma. Once the couple has the same goal, same destination (ultimate end), they are willing to overlook daily discontentments between each other. The practice of Dharma will help purify their mind, body and speech that add to the family happiness.
     Thanks Mat Dieu Hang for translating this sermon. Please keep up your hard work so as to benefit beings all over the world with precious sermons of our holy Guru.
    May Guru live long for the sake of all sentient beings
    May all sentient beings achieve the happiness of Buddha’s nature
    Om Ah Hum
  5. Dear my vajra brother Mat Dieu Hang,

    I deeply rejoice your good deed of translating our Guru’s discourse into English.  May all sentient beings soon approach this beneficial article. May you have a happy life and make progress on the path to enlightenment

    May the Guru and his consort live long for sake of all sentient beings.
    May all sentient beings achieve the happiness of the Buddha’s nature
    Om Mani Padme Hum!

  6. Mật Thái Hòa says:
    Kính Bạch Thầy.
    Con hoan hỷ tán thán thiện hạnh của Đạo huynh Mật Diệu Hằng, đã chuyển ngữ bài viết của Thầy sang tiếng Anh nhằm giúp cho chúng sanh có duyên lành được biết đến và được tu tập giáo pháp giải thoát của Đức Phật.
    Cầu mong cho tất cả chúng sanh uống được tinh tuý cam lồ.
    Con cầu nguyện cho sức khỏe và sự trường thọ của Thầy Cô vì hạnh phúc của chúng sanh.
    Om Mani Padmê hum.
  7. Mật Diệu Linh says:
    Kính bạch Thầy.
    Con hoan hỷ tán thán thiện hạnh dịch bài viết của vị Thầy sang tiếng Anh của Đạo huynh Mật Diệu Hằng.
    Con cũng hoan hỷ khi thấy comment của bạn đọc nước ngoài, và đã được Đạo huynh Mật Diệu Hằng dịch lại ạ, con hoan hỷ khi thấy bạn đọc nước ngoài bày tỏ cảm xúc về sự sùng kính Đạo sư, chân quý giáo pháp.
    Con cầu nguyện cho tất cả những ai sử dụng ngôn ngữ tiếng Anh được tiếp cận với nguồn ánh sáng chánh Pháp Phật đà qua những bài giảng, bài viết trên chanhtuduy. com, thông qua kênh vận chuyển của vị Thầy.
    Cầu nguyện cho tất cả uống được tinh tuý cam lồ.
    Om Mani Padme Hum!
  8. Mật Tấn Khải says:

    Mô Phật!
    Pháp đệ hoan hỷ tán thán thiện hạnh của Đạo huynh Mật Diệu Hằng đã chuyển ngữ bài viết của Thầy sang tiếng Anh.
    Cầu nguyện các bạn đọc sử dụng ngôn ngữ tiếng Anh trên thế giới, có duyên lành tiếp cận được với nguồn ánh sáng chánh Pháp. thông qua căn phòng Duy Ma Cật chanhtuduy.com của vị Thầy.
    Con cầu nguyện cho sức khỏe và sự trụ thế lâu dài của Thầy, Cô vì lợi lạc chúng sanh.
    Cầu nguyện cho tất cả chúng sanh thẫm đẫm hồng ân Tam Bảo.
    Om mani padme hum!

  9. Mô Phật
    Mật thúy rất hoan hỉ với thiện hạnh dịch bài viết của vị Thầy sang tiếng anh của Đạo huynh Mật Diệu Hằng cầu nguyện cho huynh luôn tin tấn thực hành pháp để được tha lực hô tri cầu mong tất cả chúng sanh luôn có duyên lành biết đến chánh pháp OM ah hùm

  10. Jeffrey Bernard Forest says:
    Om Mani Padme Hum ❤️ Everyone yearns to experience Love. When we have Wisdom in Love, we frolic in the highest of natural joy! Practicing dharma turns our mind outward, away from self-obsession and we begin to Love without attachment. This is very important, as we learn to stabilize our minds and contemplate the happiness of others. Comfortable communication, spiritual harmony with the same moral values and the physical compatibility are also keys to a harmonious relationship with the opposite sex. True Love is the natural energy of our balanced mind. An inexhaustible resource that leads to a happy marriage. Add mutual admiration, respect for each other and sympathy and mutual understanding to the mix and you cannot help but experience Pure bliss! There is a song that goes something like this : “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn, is just to Love, and be Loved in return”. Let all sentient beings begin that Love, today! Om Mani Padme Hum ❤️❤️
  11. Akshay kumar says:
    Dear Guru
    I have read this article. It is a very interesting one. Most of the people especially young generation kids should understand this. Thank you so much.
    May the Guru live long for the sake of all beings.
    May all beings achieve the happiness of Buddha’s nature.
    Om Mani Padme Hum.
    • Mật Diệu Hằng says:
      Kính bạch Thầy!

      Con xin phép dịch comment của đạo hữu Akshay Kumar sang tiếng Việt, như sau:

      “Kính bạch Thầy!

      Con đã đọc bài này rồi ạ, Đây là một bài viết rất hay. Theo con thì nhiều người, đặc biệt là thế hệ trẻ nên đọc và hiểu những điều Thầy viết trong bài.

      Con cảm tạ ơn Thầy.

      Con cầu nguyện Thầy trụ thế lâu dài vì sự lợi lạc của chúng sanh.

      Càu nguyện tất cả chúng sanh thành tựu hạnh phúc của Phật tánh.

      Om Mani Padme Hum.”

  12. Tantra Mahajan says:

    Dear Guru,
    I have read this article. I am thankful for your writing. I remember the teachinh of the Dalai Lama 14 it goes that: “to be happy, the couple must meet the following conditions:
    1. Mutual admiration (bilateral, not unilateral)
    2. Respect each other
    3. Sympathy and mutual understanding”
    May Guru and your consort live long for the sake of all beings.
    May all beings achieve the happiness of Buddhahood.
    Om Mani Padme Hum.

  13.  Tantra Mahavita says:

    QUERIDO GURU : Expreso mi gratitud por este interesante articulo. ” El Amor no consiste en mirarse el uno al otro, sino en mirar el exterior juntos en la misma direccion ” . Esta frase define algo tan simple y tan maravilloso como es el Amor . Todo el mundo anhela experimentar el Amor .En la practica del Dharma aprendemos a estabilizar nuestras mentes y a contemplar la felicidad de los demas. El Amor Verdadero es la energia natural de nuestra mente equilibrada . Si a eso le añadimos , respeto mutuo ,simpatia , y comprension mutua estamos ante la cosa mas grande que usted aprendera nunca que es …Amar y Ser Amado a cambio …Que todos los seres sintientes comiencen con ese Amor …Hoy ….Que nuestro Amado Guru tenga salud y pueda vivir muchos años para beneficio de todos los seres sintientes . Que todos los seres encuentren la felicidad y sus causas …OM MANI PADME HUM

  14. Navin Kumar says:
    Dear Guru

    Thanks …

  15. Tantra Amishuta says:
    Dear holy Guru,

    Thank you for this article. I have often wondered about marriage and Buddhism. I am married and for the first time in my life its with a good man. He is respectful and appreciative and we are mutually kind and considerate of each other. We support each other and are kind to each other. He is not Buddhist but respectful of my practice and shows interest, often asking questions. I thank you for this article and showing how marriage can work for a Buddhist. May you be well for the sake of all sentient beings. Om Mani Padme Hum

  16. Samuel Johnson says:
    Dear Guru, I am from Germany. I have read this article. Thank you for sharing this article. I am new in Buddhism. Please guide me.
  17. Samuel Johnson says:
    .Thank you Guru for sharing this article. i love the part which talked about love not only been gazing on each others eyes but also have same goals and destination , because if two people does not have same goals in life , not even love can keep them together . Thanks again for this piece .

    I am new in Buddhism. Please guide me Guru .

    • Kính bạch Thầy! 

      Con xin phép được dịch comment của bạn đọc Samuel Johnson sang tiếng Việt như sau:

      “Con cảm tạ ơn Thầy đã cho con được đọc bài viết này. Con hiểu rằng yêu nhau không phải nhìn nhau mà là cùng nhau nhìn về một hướng. Bởi vì nếu hai người không có chung mục đích trong cuộc sống thì tình yêu đó khó giữ hai người ở lại bên nhau mãi mãi. Một lần nữa,  con cảm tạ ơn Thầy vì đã viết bài. 

      Con là người mới học Phật giáo,  con xin Thầy chỉ dẫn cho con ạ. “

  18. C H Lakshminarayan says:
    Respected Guruji, I bow my head at your lotus feet.

    The background story behind” Lovelock bridge ” and  “Tajmahal”  of India , one of the Wonders of the world is more or less  appears similar.!

    If we trace the intention  of these two to the root cause we come to know it is due to the ” attachment ” or ” clinging “to the love of a person or an object which goes against the principals of Buddhism.!

    In the process of love, there are two things. One is ‘ lover ‘ and the other is ” loved ” ( person or object ), both are  subject to ” CHANGE ” and ” IMPERMANENCE ” as the time advances !.  So, both the viewer and viewed object can not stay permanent in the process of love for ever as both are changing from moment to moment progressing to the ultimate ” EMPTINESS ” !

    Hence, it is a wrong view and nothing but superstition to observe such things like doing ‘ Lovelocking ‘ or constructing  magnificent monument like ” Tajmahal ” !

    Finally, a lesson we have to learn in this context is to generalize or decentralise our love to one and all instead of centralising or concentrating love over a particular object or person so that it becomes ” UNIVERSAL LOVE ” and uphold  ” non-attachment” or ” non -clinging ” to anything according to the principals and policies of Buddhism.

    Om Mani Padme Hum.

    Dr C H Lakshminarayan.

    (Nirvadeva )


  19. Phillip says:
    I always go away with knowledge

    Thank you

  20. Karabo khumalo says:
    wow I love this gratitude for writing this

    With this my inner mind is cool

    • Nguyên Thành says:

      Welcome to chanhtuduy.com. 

      I hope to read more of your comments. 

    • Kính bạch Thầy!

      Con xin phép được dịch comment của bạn đọc Karabo Khumalo sang tiếng Việt như sau:

      Con hoan hỷ được đọc bài viết của Thầy. Con cảm tạ ơn Thầy đã viết bài viết này.

      Bài viết của Thầy giúp tâm con được bình an.

  21. Karabo khumalo says:
    • Wow I love this gratitude for writing this
    • Its cool with me okay.
    • Thank you

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